Omg to ruminate is the worst. Get out of my head. Stop getting stuck in a spiral of conversations and situations you can no longer change. Stop making me stop in my tracks. Why must I suffer like this? Day in and day out. It’s constant and tiring. Even when I scream out loud I’M DONE…my brain is not. Even when I push to do something else…my mind drags me back with a quick….remember that one time? I see why people resort to drugs to numb the fucking mind. Dull that thing. When I was a kid it was so easy. I could just SNIP SNIP that negative thought out of my mind and now I couldn’t tell you what I snip snipped. These little moments that don’t even matter anymore are stuck in a never ending loop. I get FROZEN IN PLACE dealing with these thoughts and it PISSES ME OFF. Brain you have drilled into me. You consistently make me suffer. The self-help tips and tricks don’t work. Tell me again that I just need to replace this bad thought with a good thought…tell me again how it’s my fault that I have trained my brain to stay in the negative. WHO WANTS TO DO THIS!?! If I could I would SNIP SNIP the bitch out and move the fuck on. That’s literally all I want to fucking do. Take a pistol shoot it out. Shovel it out and plant it into the dirt for all I fucking care. I don’t want these memories. They don’t serve me and I’m literally fucking over it.

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